The Worst Car I Ever Had

A 1981 Chevrolet Citation.

Hands down the worst car I ever had, and I've had more than a few. It was 1987 and I was in graduate school and desperately needed a car. I was basically broke, which doesn't help car-buying. I found a used car lot that said credit was no problem and I could make the payments right at the lot. $50 a week and only $200 down. I scraped up the money and made the deal. The citation had the venerable Iron Duke 4 cylinder set transversly with a 3 speed front wheel drive automatic transmission. It had Throttle-body injection and was as gutless as just about anything you could get in 1987. But the price was right.

I drove it for a few months, made my payments, was only left stranded by it twice until . . . the crank broke. Literally, the crank broke in two. I was only a mile or so away from home, so I had a buddy help me get it home. I popped the hood open and had him turn the key while I was looking at the motor. The starter was turning and the engince was turning over, but the fan and the pulleys were not moving. I drug the car into the garage and popped the valve cover off and saw that the valves were not moving either, yet 3 of the 4 cylinders were moving up and down. So I pulled the motor and tore it down to the block. the crank had boken between cylinders one and two and so the timing gear was not moving either. I replaced the crank, replaced the con rod and piston on #1 and honed out the rest fo the motor and replaced all of the rings. I put it back together and stuck it back in to the car and fired it up. I set the timing and had it back on the road. Total time about 5 days. Not bad.

I drove it another week or so and then the motor went POP! I kinda knew what it was. I figured I had the timing set too far advanced and I just blew a hole in the new cylinder. I pulled it back into the garage, pulled ol' Iron Duke out again and replaced the piston, slapped it all back together, started it up and was a bit more careful in setting the timing . . . then I drove it right down to the car lot where I was making those pesky weekly payments. I parked the car in the lot and took the keys in to the manager and dropped them on his desk and told him it was his again. I took the verbal harrassment from him as I walked to the street and sat down on the bus bench waiting to be acquainted with public transportation. All the time I was waiting for the bus, about 10 or 15 minutes, the car lot manager was telling me what a jerk I was, that he would sue me, that I was irresponsible and that I couldn't do that. The thing is, though, I had read the contract. The bus came, I left, he had his car and I was hoofing it and using the bus for a few more weeks until I bought another really cheap car . . . but it lasted a bit longer.